How to Move a Vampire

How to Move a VampireIt’s that time of year again and vampires are on the move. Since we are seeing a lot of moving activity between Hollywood, Louisiana and Washington, we think it’s about time we addressed how to move this particular group of…undead. Just like humans, vampires have special needs that most moving companies should be able to address with proper planning, coordination and a little bit of patience.  Here are our tips on how to move a vampire:

Ship the coffin safely. Beds are some of our most personal possessions and a vampire’s coffin is no different. Fortunately, all empty coffins can be moved as easily as any household item. Simple caskets can be wrapped in moving blankets and loaded onto the truck. If your coffin is very ornate, or if its hundreds of years old, you may want to have it crated before moving. This will ensure that any embellishments remain intact. Unfortunately, at this time, moving companies cannot ship bodies, dead or otherwise, so vampires will not be able to stay in the actual casket during the move. If you are moving your coffin, you will want to make arrangements for temporary accommodations.

Plan Pickup and Delivery ASAP. Most moving companies will try to accommodate a vampire’s schedule, especially if the move is booked in plenty of time for the move and if the move is in the off-season. We recommend that vampires move in the winter when daylight is minimal. Call your moving company as soon as possible to arrange pick up before dawn and delivery after dusk.  During the busy season, you may need to pay an extra fee to ensure after hours delivery. Either way, be sure to tip your movers for good service – your day may just be beginning, but they will be exhausted from a hard day of work.

Reserve a Private Truck. It’s quite common for movers to load more than one household on a truck. Vampires who are concerned about garlic, silver, stakes, mirrors, crosses and holy water may want to reserve their own truck to ensure that there is no contamination. While mix-ups don’t happen often here, this can be a death scenario so it is probably wise that vampires spend the extra money for their own safety.

Make arrangements for blood. We understand that vampires like to keep extra blood on hand in case of an emergency. Unfortunately, most traditional household moving companies cannot ship blood on the trucks, or even in refrigerated vans, because it is a biohazard for humans. That said, your moving company should be able to identify a biohazard shipping company that can help make the necessary arrangements. Because this may take some time and paperwork, you will want to contact your blood shipper early on in the moving process. This is heavily regulated so please, play nice.

Gravestones, graveyards and mausoleums. You will be happy to know that gravestones and/or headstones are easy to move. In fact, they are just like any other household item. It’s important to note that, while moving companies can pick things up from graveyards and mausoleums, we will need permission to enter the facility in advance. Further, we cannot dig up any graves so vampires will need to do this beforehand.

Moving companies are well equipped to handle most vampire moves. To ensure they can meet your needs, your mover will want to send a representative to your home to see what needs to be moved before giving you an estimate. Please don’t eat this person – it’s to your benefit that you get an accurate price.

Further, most movers (us included) will ensure that the crew is in uniform (so you don’t mistake them for prey). They are also trained to be discreet about personal situations so you need not worry about slayers coming after you during your transition. Finally, if you promise not to attack the driver and crew, your moving coordinator will make sure that they are not carrying any garlic, silver, crosses or holy water.  Trust works both ways, my fanged-friends.

Do you have any tips on how to move a vampire?

Happy Halloween everyone!